18 May 2022


You Matter

Name: Abdullah

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Have you ever felt like there is an imposter inside your head, someone that’s telling you, you are not good enough, not smart enough, not
kind enough or not competent enough? Inside your mind, there is void and when you are alone, some thoughts, some memories start to creep
in and fill in that void.
You start to feel insecure, jaded or downright pathetic. Before we start, remember that however humans are created,
they are perfect and are created with a purpose and a plan.
Allah Almighty said in the Quran “And indeed we have honored the children of Adam (As)”
We humans are creatures born with consciousness which slowly develops through our early years. For example: As you first heard your
mother and father speak, your mind developed the idea “If they can speak, maybe I can speak”. As you grew older, you started to develop
your self-identity and this didn’t start happening in your teenage years, it started happened way before that. Do you remember ever getting
hit by your parents? Do you remember ever getting humiliated in the class as a 5th grader? Do you remember being constantly ignored by
your peers and being told you aren’t good enough? If not, don’t worry, all that was registered by your subconscious and it slowly developed
your psyche. Around this time your identity and perception of the world were being shaped. If today your body start shaking when you have
to speak to a group that means your communication skills couldn’t properly develop as a child or you aren’t fully confident in your own ideas
or in yourself. Fear has solidified itself inside your sub-conscious. When we grow up with flawed core beliefs, we start to lose our grip on
life and can longer function properly. We have a hard time reaching our full potential and a time comes when there is no desire to continue
this miserable life.
Even after you reach adulthood, you can still develop self-defeating beliefs that become a burden on your mind. Let me give you an example
of a woman, who worked for a boss for 17 years and this boss did not know how to manage his employees or cater to their needs. He used to
demean her at every step of her work. He was always nagging and scolding her on her mistakes. She developed a habit of lying to her boss
to hide her mistakes. Her confidence had shattered and her productivity lowered as well. It was only when she got out of that job that she
realized how afraid she was of making decisions. What happened was that she developed a reality inside her mind that she wasn’t good
Haven’t many of us done the same? Haven’t many of us developed a reality inside our mind that isn’t real? Isn’t it time we reflect on ourselves
and see how full of potential we really are.
No one is born with self-confidence. It is a mindset that develops when you make your own decisions, when you have solidified the idea that
YOU matter and your ideas matter and you have a lot of good things to give to the world. That is the root of confidence. Start with helping
others, empathize with them, show them you are dependable and in time you will see how your sub-conscious will develop a new reality.
Your mind will register this idea that you are a helpful and dependable person. If you are a student and a question is being asked in class,
raise your hand even if you aren’t sure of your answer your actions do have an effect on your sub-conscious.
If you are a teacher you must have total empathy with such students and prove to them that if they make mistakes or blunders they will be
helped and supported and not demeaned or yelled at. They might think they are being coned or tricked at first but you have to keep at it and
make them realize that they are perfect the way they are and any flaw they have can be easily overcome.
As we are concluding, I want to leave you with this wisdom nugget from Simon Sinek, a famous author, inspirational speaker and instructor
of strategic communications at Colombia University.
“You have a problem but you are not the problem, if something goes wrong we have a problem but you are not the problem. The
point is that too many times we have told people that they are the problem so I think it will take time and patience and you have to
do the hard work in helping a person develop their confidence.”